Sometimes I wonder...

My mother used to respond whenever I would say, "I was wondering", by commenting, "While you are wandering, don't get lost!" She was trying to be funny. Which, actually, for her, was an accomplishment. She rarely was funny or even tried to be. So, really, that is a fond memory.

But I have spent a lot of time "wondering" about a lot of things. I do enjoy learning. Learning with Handsome is especially fun and rewarding. I like to spend time at the library, museums, and other educational venues. I think sometimes that I am learning as much as Handsome is, only perhaps, different details!

However, I still wonder if I am doing a good job. When I look at the public school curriculum, part of me thinks we are doing wonderfully. Another part of me starts to panic and feel as though I am not an adequate teacher. I know Handsome gets the benefits of one-on-one instruction. He gets the privilege of museums and community programs such as the Science Center and libraries offer for home schooled children. He gets to do many more "hands-on" types of learning activities than could be handled in a classroom full of inquisitive kids. And he gets to choose some of the Science topics. Few classrooms would hassle the saltwater aquarium, for instance. And then we have our ocean room full of stuffed whales, walruses, sharks, etc, along with real shells and star fish and sea horses. And then we have plastic lobsters and crabs, squid and octopuses!

He gets to experience music and art and history in the form of "hands-on" activities and videos, etc.

Yet, when Hunky comes home from kindergarten and spells "symmetry" (a word Handsome just had in math) and tells me he learned it in art in KINDERGARTEN...I feel the panic rising. Yet, at the same time, the neighbor girl in third grade just finished learning her multiplication table, which is one thing we are almost done with in second grade! Handsome also has algebraic and geometrical problems in his math book that they have not yet covered. And he has started cursive, although we have not emphasized it. Public school starts that in mid third grade here.

So, you see...I am wondering...am I on the right track? I love the Science we do! He does too! And he likes math. (I know that to be my weakness) But...it seems to me that the public system pushes reading and spelling more than I have been able to. I spend a lot of time trying to find the right methods, motivators, and inspiring, interesting books...and trying to compete with the system. I wonder still... Am I doing this right?

Am I the best teacher I can be? And, if so, is that good enough?

My sister (who spent years as a public school teacher and still substitutes in CA) tells me that most teachers, if not all, feel this way from time to time. But they were completely trained as teachers. I was trained in Christian Education, somewhat more administrative, and in geriatric behavioral and social (quality of life,etc) topics. I spent time learning about Alzheimer's and arthritis, macular degeneration, and dementia...about physical therapy and care plans. I wonder...am I good enough? Teaching is such an important calling...and I certainly don't want to get lost!